Steve Hansen re-signs as All Black Coach for Rugby World Cup 2067
New Zealand Rugby Chairwoman, and Chancellor Emeritus, Judith Collins today announced that the entity known as Stephen William Hansen has been rebooted as the All Blacks Supreme Operator for another 16 years, taking him through to the 2068 Rugby World Cup being held in Antarctica.
After rebuffing, yet again, lucrative offers from the Chinese Lunar Colonies to coach their team, NZR was thrilled to be able to keep their prized coach, and Collins’ Spokes-Bot confirmed a suitable remuneration package of Renaissance artworks, rare earth elements and arable land, had been put together to retain Hansen’s services in New Zealand.
It is believed that Hansen now owns North, Middle, and South Canterbury, as well as the entire West Coast, which possesses numerous closed down coal mines said to remind Hansen fondly of his time in Wales, before the Principality was torched for insurance by its new Russian owners in 2047.
New Zealand Rugby is confident the All Blacks can retain the Webb Ellis Trump Cup for a record tenth time – five wins in the old tournament format, and five in the new Best of XV Series versus a combined Rest of the World team.
In related news, a NASA SpokesBot confirmed attempts to return astronaut, and first man on Mars, Colonel Sonny Bill Williams to Earth to have hit a stumbling block when it was discovered his contract contains an ‘out’ clause allowing him to hitch a ride on Halley’s Comet to greater galactic glory.